


When In Haven

by caramelmage



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, F/M, Fluff, Kinda, OC/Canon, do you like dialogue? good, literally this was to indulge myself, someones got a crush, thank you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:42:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25638244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caramelmage/pseuds/caramelmage
Summary: Being the Herald of Andraste seriously sabotages your sleep schedule. "Lady" Lavellan goes for a night stroll in hopes this will solve her predicament. It somewhat does.
Relationships: Blackwall/Female Inquisitor
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	When In Haven

Herald of Andraste. Lady Lavellan. Lady Herald.

It all felt so.... foreign. That isn’t her. No da’len. No ma vhenan. Not hearing little nicknames from Kayra’s language felt empty. She felt alone. It’s not that she’s upset she’s called all these impressive titles. It just feels like shoes that don’t quite fit. It feels like she doesn't fit. Once headstrong as a First in her own clan, now she was unsure how to operate in an Inquisition. It was bad enough being a mage. Top that off with being Dalish? 

Creators!

This is why she looked up at the ceiling at night. She stared at the boards so hard she feared they might break. Or that she might burn holes in them. She missed home. But will she be able to go back? Ever? Cassandra made it seem like that wasn’t the case. Was she happy with all of it? All she does is fix fade rifta. That was really her only purpose. Time and time again. Day in and out she filled in requests. Helped people. And while it felt good and made her heart fuzzy with every “thank you” she got in return, she was getting tired. And stressed. Her body felt like it was being wrung out by numerous hands to wet laundry. 

“This is ridiculous!” She muttered to herself. 

The ache of being near trees was clear and ripe that night. The fresh air in the morning light. The feeling of a cool stream lapping against her legs. The vision of laying besides the fennec foxes as they play-fought with each other. The feeling of home ached. A sickness not so easily cured by healers.

If sleep would not come, she would rather spend this time doing something she liked. She stepped out of her little quarters. Quickly and quietly, hoping that no one would approach her. The air was frigid and burnt her cheeks like a slash of an icy blade. Not even the lantern she held in her hands could warm her. Haven’s small, homey tavern was loud. Not just loud. Rambunctious. Celebratory. She swore she could hear Sera and Bull. They did have a knack for being the loudest of their little group. It was good to hear. The cheers. The laughter. The squeals. The more morale the better. She laughed as she arrived at the gate. Nodding at both the guards stationed there, she gestured to the outside. 

“Greetings. May I pass?” She asked rather earnestly, hoping to coax them into letting her out.

The guards looked reluctant. Then they looked at eachother.

“It’s only a short walk I promise you. I will not go too far,” Kayra explained. She could only try and remain stubborn. They needn’t worry. Why did people always worry?

One guard piped up. “Lady Herald! May one of us accompany you instead?” 

Kayra breathed out. She’s not made of glass. Honestly! 

“I’m pretty sure I can handle myself on a short nightly walk,” she concluded in a rather matter-of-fact manner.

“But-.”

“If I need anything, I’ll shout.” That’s what Kayra could offer. She didn’t wish to be hounded.

The guards still looked unsure. But after furrowed brows exchanged and concerned looks, they opened the gates. Kayra nodded in thanks. Maybe being the Herald Of Andraste had some perks.

The moon shone brightly and everything in sight twinkled under its beautiful light. Some flames still remained. Perhaps late workers into the night. Or people in similar situations to her. The dreaded feeling of no sleep. The snow twinkled and crunched under her sturdy boots as she walked away from Haven. She approached the crafting stations with intentions to pass them. It seemed desolate. Not a sound in sight. Or person. Perfect for an ‘Lady Herald’ to be alone.. 

“My lady?” A voice spoke out to her. It stopped her in her tracks.

Nevermind. 

She turned to see a burly figure behind her. Ah! Blackwall. Anyone could recognize that rough voice of his. He’d been here at Haven for some time now. Kayra always enjoyed talking to him. Something about him made her smile. He was huge. Bigger in height and stature than she could ever be. His hair teetered on greying. A bearded long haired forest fisherman, as Kayra liked to describe. 

But there was something in his eyes she couldn’t make out. He always looked so… sad. Tired. It must have been a Warden thing. She had heard great tales of the Wardens. It seemed like no easy job. Drinking blood. Dying too quickly. Hopes of Griffons. No wonder he looked so sad. Imagine having the symbol of your order be extinct. 

Kayra smiled brightly and nodded his way. “Don’t tell me the guards told you to look after me too. How did they get that message so quickly to you?” She rolled her eyes, scoffing. 

“What? Nothing of the sort. I was just cleaning my swords. At night,” Blackwall chuckled. That chuckle was so sweet. So very sweet. Like honeyed cakes on the tongue. “Perhaps not the best use of my time this late at night.”

He put down his weapons with a gentle ‘clank’ and approached her with his own lantern in hand. Blackwall seemed rough on the exterior. But inside? Well the few times Kayra talked to him? He seemed all soft and gooey inside like dough. 

She raised her brows at ‘cleaning my swords’. What on Thedas? It sounded so very much like a euphemism. But she bit her tongue. 

“You can’t sleep. Can you? I’m not shocked. You’ve got that breach riding on your shoulders,” Blackwall concluded. Concern reached his face and now he really looked like a sad puppy.

“Is it that obvious? I suppose anyone could feel like that given my position. This was a random stroke of luck afterall,” Kayra sighed. But that weight hadn’t been lifted off her shoulders just by mentioning it. In fact it made it worse. “What about you? What are you doing awake so late? Polishing weapons can be done any time of the day.” Assuming it was weapons he was polishing and not something else.

Blackwall put his hands up in defeat. “Sleep can be difficult at times. But I can see why you’re not asleep. You told me you just want to do right by people. The right thing. That’s no easy task, my lady,” Blackwall tried to reassure her. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how stressful and tiresome it would be to be a “leader” in this position. 

Kayra screwed up her face with a crooked smile, forgetting the topic at hand. “My lady? You’re the only one who calls me that, you know. Since when am I yours? Claimed me, have you?”

The look of HORROR on Blackwall’s face that appeared. It struck quicker than lightning and thunder on the Storm Coast on a particularly harsh day. Rocking the boats and sending sailors to their deaths.

“I-. I only meant it out of respect,” He stuttered, his face warming up just enough to melt the snow around Haven.

Kayra giggled and waved it off with her hand. “I was only poking fun at you! I’m sorry. The look on your face! You’re a funny one. You’re easy to tease and so easily flustered.”

Blackwall still looked like he had done the worst thing in the world and straightened his posture. “Is there something that you’d prefer…?”

“No! No it’s alright. I’m so used to everyone calling me what they like. Bull just calls me ‘you’ sometimes. But you’re the only one who calls me your lady. Am I supposed to call you my lord…? Messere?” Kayra nudged him with her elbow. A little too hard, mind you. 

Blackwall stared at her for a few moments, breathless. He wheezed and honestly didn’t have the words to say anything back. He finally cleared his throat.

“Messere is a little much from the Herald, don’t you think. I won’t complain about my lord, though. It’s only fair, isn’t it?” He chuckled. Again. It’s from deep in the belly. Kayra definitely heard it. 

“Well, well, my lord! Since you can’t sleep. And I can’t sleep. Why don’t we-.” Kayra began. 

Blackwall’s eyes WIDENED. 

She stopped.

What in Thedas are you thinking, ser? Kayra blinked and raised a brow.  _ Maybe both of our minds are in the gutter tonight _ she thought.

“Walk with me?” 

Something passed Blackwall like a wave of relief, crashing against the cliffs of uncertainty. 

“Of course,” He finally answered. He held out his arm for Kayra to take. 

She stared at the arm and waited for something to happen. This was something she wasn’t overly familiar with. 

“Are you showing me your muscles?”  _ Believe me _ , she thought,  _ I’ve already noticed them. Many many times _ . She pet the arm twice, confused with the gesture. Mmm…. muscle. Big. Burly. Muscle.

“What are you doing? No you-. Here. Let me show you. Hold out your arm so I can demonstrate.” Blackwall displayed his arm for her. “I’m not sure if you’re being serious or if you’re just teasing me. Again.” 

“.... Unfortunately. No. I’m not. I don’t think I’ve been offered an arm in my clan. Hands, maybe. But not an arm. What is its purpose?” She mimicked him and held it out exactly as he did.

“You sort of become a guide. An escort” Blackwall explained. He curled around Kayra’s arm, resting comfortably. “Well. Now I’ve taken your arm it seems. I’ve never been offered one either. Only offered my own. So that makes two of us.” He squeezed her arm. Just a little. “Lead the way, my lady.”

He was closer now. Warm. Who needed coats when Blackwall was overflowing with heat radiation. 

The two of them walked along the banks of the icy lake, never straying too far from Haven. Kayra breathed in the fresh air but the whole process sent literal chills through her body. That air still stung sharply. To her core to her fingertips. It was like eating mint. A lot of mint.

The breach stared at them. It was a very unwelcome visitor, in Kayra’s opinion. It loomed over her, gnawing at her brain. She hesitated to keep looking at the beast. It felt like it was going to get worse if she didn’t keep her eye on it. They went deeper into the trees. Away from Haven’s little civilisation. They creaked above the pair. The smells felt more intense here. The sounds of nocturnal creatures surrounded them. But she couldn’t relax. Even where she’d be happiest. Her eyes wouldn’t leave the breach. It looked so big compared to one little her. With all those mages… she only hoped that it would all be over soon.

Blackwall peered at her. He noticed her frustrations as they walked and pointed it out. “Here. You keep thinking about it. I can’t have a lady stressed. Sit on that rock with your back to the breach. And I’ll stand on guard. Distract you.” 

Oh. That was sweet. He’s so sweet. 

Kayra nodded. “Very well. Having someone watch my back seems to be something that’s becoming popular these days. You’re a true gentleman, Blackwall.”

She placed herself on the large rock. Her finger tips traced the surface. It was cold but she could feel the grooves in the rock. Not sharp. Just there. Natural. Her eyes close as she let her other senses be indulged. She could smell unfamiliar scents of the trees. Not Free Marches trees. Ferelden trees. She could smell the dirt. The snow. She sniffed again, smelling ale, smoke and sweat. 

That was Blackwall. Definitely not herself. 

Her eyes opened again, serene and calm. Blackwall’s face had appeared. Next to her. 

“You’re not really guarding my back very well. Now you’re next to me!” Kayra pretended to chide him.

The warden looked back, craning his neck. “Well. Forgive me. At least I can turn my head. See?” 

“If you want to hurt your neck! Be kinder to yourself,” Kayra laughed. “But I think I like it better this way. You’re still distracting me, after all.” 

Blackwall smiled and gestured to the trees with his head. “You feel more relaxed out here. Don’t you. When we were in the Hinterlands. You seemed so much more at home. Not bunched up when you’re here. Am I correct in saying that?” 

_ Hit the nail on the head _ , Kayra mused in her mind. “How observant, Ser Warden. I know I have a duty to do but… I feel a little homesick.” She was embarrassed to admit it. “I don’t know if you know much about the Dalish but… I was my Keeper’s First. She was my mentor. We had contact with non-elven folk sometimes. But we’d ever really enter cities. So since Haven is bustling with so many people, it can be overwhelming for me. When I wasn’t doing my First duties, I’d go for walks. The Free Marches can be so beautiful.” Her eyes shone under the light of her lantern. Then they got a little more twinkly and mischievous. “Been watching me, huh? Observing me?” 

Blackwall cleared his throat. Now it burnt something FIERCE. “N-No. All of us can see.” 

“So the entire Inquisition is gossiping about me? Oh how wonderful! I didn’t know this was Orlais. The game this and that. I thought you all were my friends.” She pretended to put her nose in the air and pout. Humph!

“Back to your point,” Blackwall redirected the conversation as the heat on his face died down. “It must be difficult, my lady. I’m sure it’s a big change from being one’s apprentice to now… this symbol of hope. You’re making me want to go on walks more. Even better if you’re there too.” 

The words he said makes Kayra want to melt into this rock. Right now. Maybe she could become part of its sediment. A fossil to be found. Her face flushed. She allowed herself to lean on him. She ‘fell’. It’s like her body told her too. Her shoulder touched him. Then her head. Blackwall’s posture stiffened. But it was not telling if he was naturally like that. 

“Relax. Don’t worry. I’m not going to fall asleep on you.” Kayra promised.

“Mm.” he managed to inconsistently reply.

Kayra lifted her head, her cheek against his shoulder. Somehow that made Blackwall stiffen even more when he looked down. 

She hesitated. “Oh. Sorry. It seemed like the right thing to do. Should I remove myself?” 

Blackwall didn’t answer straight away. His words were stuck. And just when Kayra was about to sit upright again, taking the uncomfortable silence as confirmation, he slung an arm around her shoulders. Because one can’t be too daring as to put his arm around someone’s waist. 

Now Kayra was no helpless Dalish maiden who needed to be saved. She took charge when needed. She took initiative when needed as evident in the past few weeks. She was always asking more and more questions to engage in problem solving. She would rather get shit done than have someone else do it for her. Nervous and stressed? Sure. But getting it done was important.

But when she was enclosed in one of Blackwall’s arms, she felt comforted. Soft. Gentle. A little bit safer. Like he was a shield to support her. 

Funny. That’s the way they met. If he hadn’t put up his shield to save them both… 

“You’re as warm as I imagined,” She pondered, curling into his shape. 

“I said I had your back,” Blackwall pointed out and chuckled softly. 

Kayra could feel he was a little more relaxed. Her eyes turned to the clouds. The stars glimmered above them and the smell of smoke delighted her as she nestled into Blackwall. 

Sleep still wouldn’t come yet. Her mind still buzzed with anxieties, homesickness and doing right by everyone who depended on her. But at least the Warden was there to ease her mind. 

In times of great stress, perhaps she could remember this little moment in time to calm her. Perhaps a dose of Blackwall was all the mind needed to feel settled and soothed.

  
  
  



End file.
